By Michael McCaffrey | 19 August 2019
RT — Americans are blessed to have a plethora of benevolent celebrities who are willing to share their infinite knowledge and wisdom with them.
After a thorough examination by a team of top-notch doctors, I was recently given some very disturbing news … I was diagnosed with an acute case of stage 4 platonic celebriphilia. In case you don’t know, celebriphilia is a disease where the afflicted have an abnormal and overwhelming adoration of celebrity.
My medical team, which includes Dr Phil, Dr Drew and Dr Oz, tells me that the symptoms of celebriphilia include feeling a false sense of familiarity and intimacy with celebrities which leads to the afflicted projecting an inordinate amount of inappropriate intelligence, wisdom and expertise upon celebrities. […]