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‘You Can Reopen Now!’ Governor Newsom Shouts at Row of Abandoned, Dilapidated Buildings

26 January 2021

BABYLON BEE — In a stunning reversal of almost a full year of devastating lockdowns that decimated California businesses, California Governor Gavin Newsom has decided to reverse them all and finally allow businesses to get back to work.

He was last seen shouting at a row of abandoned businesses, telling them it was time to reopen.

“I’m not sure why everyone left,” said Newsom, hanging his head. “We followed the dictates of SCIENCE and saved billions of lives. Everyone should be thanking me!”

When asked if Newsom’s sudden and drastic reversal of lockdowns had anything to do with his declining popularity and efforts to recall him as Governor, he dismissed the accusations as “absurd.” […]

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