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CDC Recommends Also Wearing Face Mask on Back of Head in Case Coronavirus Attacks from Rear

CARTOON: Twitter/Ben Garrison

27 January 2021

THE ONION — As documented cases of the disease increased and more Americans wanted to take proactive measures to avoid infection, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reportedly recommended Thursday also wearing a face mask on the back of one’s head in case the coronavirus attacks from the rear.

“Given the ruthless efficiency at which the coronavirus can spread, we’re advising all Americans that wearing a face mask over your mouth is insufficient to fully protect yourself from any particularly wily strains of the virus sneaking up behind you and catching you unaware,” said CDC principal deputy director Anne Schuchat, explaining that the coronavirus was a notoriously sneaky disease and put anyone who didn’t adequately safeguard their back and the sides of their body at imminent risk. […]

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1 Comment on CDC Recommends Also Wearing Face Mask on Back of Head in Case Coronavirus Attacks from Rear

  1. The CDC now recommends: five on your nose and mouth; one on your head hair because hairs pick up everything, if bald you’re exempt; one on each foot either inside or outside your socks; one on each hand; one on your ass, inside or outside your pants, or one up your ass if really paranoid. There you are no protected.

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