(Babylon Bee) Pfizer Introduces New Mascot ‘Clotty’

Babylon Bee | Jan. 25, 2023

Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has unveiled their new mascot, an adorable glob of platelets who goes by the name “Clotty”.

“See? Blood clots aren’t scary!” said Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla as a smiling Clotty danced onto the stage. “Welcome to Pfizer, Clotty! Let’s get one of these little guys into every home in America!”

While Pfizer initially pushed back against evidence tying the vaccine to blood clots, the company has decided to instead embrace it. “We are so excited for Clotty to help us put a friendly face on heart attacks and strokes,” said Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla. “Every new COVID booster will now come with a plush Clotty doll you can take to the hospital when you inevitably get admitted with a massive embolus. You’ll love squeezing Clotty while they wheel you into the cath lab! Thanks, Clotty!”

(***)

Article Image

Be the first to comment

Post a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Winter Watch

Discover more from Winter Watch

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading