12 January 2020
THE BABYLON BEE — President-elect Joe Biden gave a press briefing from the basement of his Wilmington mansion announcing that his incoming administration will be utilizing an innovative skin color chart to determine who is the priority in receiving their share of the $900 billion federal coronavirus aid package recently passed by Congress.
“Our priority will be black, Latino, Asian, and Native American-owned small businesses, women-owned businesses,” Biden informed the nation. “We are sending out a new color chart to all agencies involved to make sure there is no malarkey with white males and those with melanin deficiencies cutting in from where we are placing them at the back of the line.”
Experts praised the administration’s new color chart as being very unambiguous, black-and-white even, on who the government was going to help and not help. […]
Why not hard-hit, struggling business owners who need assistance, without regard to the color of their skin, gender or ethnic heritage? https://t.co/fcnzXCqaGH
— Ari Fleischer (@AriFleischer) January 12, 2021