Babylon Bee | June 1, 2023
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The House voted 314-117 Wednesday to approve a bill raising the US debt ceiling. The bipartisan compromise allows the country to avoid the devastating impact of fiscal responsibility for another two years.
Sources say the negotiations were touch and go for several weeks, but in the end, Republicans and Democrats were able to come together on the one issue that unites them: recklessly spending other people’s money while avoiding any and all accountability for it.
“Phew, that was a close one,” said House Speaker Kevin McCarthy after the vote. “If we hadn’t passed this bill, the government would have been forced to stop borrowing money and balance the budget. Crisis averted!”
President Biden praised members of Congress for passing the bill. “In this era of partisan politics, it’s good to see Republicans and Democrats agreeing to completely destroy America’s fiscal stability,” he noted in a statement given to a turnip in his root cellar. “Garbflibblemurflin!”
Leave it to the BBee to tell it like it is!