(Babylon Bee) California Achieves World’s First Crime Rate Of Zero After Legalizing All Crime

Babylon Bee | August 17, 2023

In what officials have hailed as a historic first, California has become the first state to achieve a crime rate of zero after passing legislation to make all crimes completely legal.

“This is a great moment for our state,” Governor Gavin Newsom said. “No other state in the nation’s history has successfully brought the crime rate down to nothing. California is once again leading the way! Now, please, for the safety of your loved ones, don’t venture out of your homes at night. Or at least carry an air horn. Whatever. I don’t care.”

Analysts point to the state’s legalization of all criminal acts as the catalyst for reaching a zero crime rate. “It was a bold but revolutionary move,” said Professor Kyle Ray of the California Crime Institute. “California has effectively eliminated all crime from existence simply by making every unlawful or despicable act completely acceptable. Murder, assault, robbery — these are yesterday’s terms. Californians are now truly free to express themselves however they choose. Zero crime!”


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2 Comments on (Babylon Bee) California Achieves World’s First Crime Rate Of Zero After Legalizing All Crime

  1. I stopped watching the Babylon Bee channel a while back. I think they are just controlled op. Their videos attacking California over and over again just whip up hatred and targeting of Californians (just look at the comments). And how do all these people running it make a living as Youtubers and running a website? I don’t trust them. A lot of their stuff feels, to me, mean-spirited.

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