Budweiser Replaces Clydesdales With Cows Dressed As Horses

Babylon Bee |  April 6, 2023

In a natural continuation of its push for diversity and celebration of transgender lifestyles, Anheuser-Busch has announced the company will be replacing the iconic Budweiser Clydesdales with cows that identify as and dress like horses.

“We feel this is a natural next step,” said Anheuser-Busch CEO Brandan Whitworth. “If we’re going to bend reality and ignore all basic understanding of science and biology with our Bud Light brand, then it only makes sense to make that philosophy consistent across our other brands, including the classic Budweiser advertising campaigns.”

The beverage giant scoured the nation in search of dairy cows that live their lives as horses. “I was very excited to receive a phone call from the Budweiser marketing folks,” said dairy farmer Ed Herman. “I just can’t get this group of cows to produce any milk because they insist on pretending to be horses. I was ready to put down the whole lot of ‘em, but now they can actually make me some money with this ad campaign.”

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7 Comments on Budweiser Replaces Clydesdales With Cows Dressed As Horses

  1. So that’s their ‘philosophy’ ? … if they have to “bend reality and ignore all basic understanding of science and biology”, then they might as well be stupid across the board?

  2. They’ll still keep the horses because they’re needed to produce the piss that their rice is fermented in to make their sorry excuse for beer.

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